that i have looked for
in the smell of rain
the taste of snow
the music of a baby voice
most of all,
and so, with time
i have learned
that i can hold nirvana in my hand
when it plays its part
can bring release
this suffering of love
the roses give their fragrance
with their thorns
the seasons give us life
they give us death
what we were made to give
sometimes it is our sorrow,
to be alive-
so full of touching
feeling, deeper still,
that aches to share
paints life its deep or subtle colors
makes each day a precious
as it should be
a delicious question mark
and leave the past in poems
where it rests in peace as past
i am not afraid to cry
for baby birds that i find dead
for any friend who looks
past empty doorways
seeing nothing but despair
but unlike many saints,
i can give what i have learned
give them earth that's
gentle, warm and bare
give them stars
to dream a little on
be alive to love
Copyright Margaret Spurck '2008'
Happy Mothers Day Mom
Rest In Peace
Top 10 Things (Copyright David Letterman) I've learned from being a mom:
10. Sleep will never be the same.
9. Your throw-up, diarrhea, blood, and boogers can touch me -ONLY- if you are my child.
8. My baby is the most adorable, cutest, sweetest, precious, (insert every other sappy word), in the whole wide world.
7. Singing songs from my childhood, to my child--Five Fat Freckled Frogs turn into songs called Five Green Speckled Frogs.
6. Cleaning is a never ending job.
5. Children imitate their atmosphere.
4. Laughing after something bad occurs, isn't so hard to do.
3. Back scratching is a cure.
2. Unconditional love is the greatest gift you can give or receive.
1. My child can call me a bitch but if someone else does--oh, its on.
Really, I'm a lover not a fighter.
At 6 months old, she was crawling to a pair of shoes amidst a floor of toys. At the age of 2, she was changing her clothes, playing dress-up, many times a day (and the pile of clothes continues). By the age of 5, I realized that we had very different fashion styles, I could care less about it and she LOVED it. I stopped shopping for clothes, for her, because she would no longer wear the cute-butterfly-with-matching-flower-pant suits.
Today, at the age of 14 (oh that makes me feel old, but wait, I'm young--yeah, really I had her at a young age, we look like sisters ;0) She will 'get ready' all day! like 2-3 hours--in the mirror, changing clothes, changing hairstyles, straightening hair, posing, staring at herself, change clothes again.
Geesh. It takes me, at the most, 20 minutes.
She loved sitting on my lap while I sang--"This is the way the ladies ride, ta'tree-ta'tree-ta'tree. This is the way the gentlemen ride, gallop-and-trot-gallop-and- trot. This is the way the farmers ride, hobble'de-horse-hobble'de-horse."
We played silly games like "Roll" where we'd lay on the bed, side by side, and roll back and forth while laughing hysterically. Her grandma and I played "Tickle Witch" with her, I'd hold her and get her closer and closer and closer to grandma--"THE TICKLE WITCH."
*heckling witch laughter*
The night her grandma died, she was in the bathtub and we played "Statue Monster."
I poked my head into grandma's room, "The Statue Monster got Naomi, oh no, she is frozen stiff, just like a statue."
I wrapped her in a towel, "what did grandma think?", she quietly asked.
"She was sleeping, or maybe the Statue Monster got her too."
*eyes open wide*
That morning, she went to give grandma her morning dance (she would turn on my mom's radio and dance around her room--in her younger years, grandma was a ballerina).
As Naomi danced, she would say--"Pirouette, plie, brise, nice, very pretty." *Applause*
That morning, Naomi came into my room, "Mommy, mommy, grandma is in her bed and she is purple." That was the saddest morning I can remember.
She is free now, "It's really cool, all you have to do is think of a place and you're there."
I know she is still here because she hugged me and I felt it.
Thank you Mom, for all of the signs--because of you, I believe and I will not stop, even if the sign says so ;0)
*unconditional love, a song by The Bees*